


Letters Sent by Unsaid Love

by alicesalias



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: AU in which returns to Japan after Ash gets out of prison, Fluff and Angst, Letters, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Pre-Relationship, kinda following what happens after that, they love each other but they can't quite say it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 19:30:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20314819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicesalias/pseuds/alicesalias
Summary: "Ash,I'm not sure if this letter will even reach you, but I hope you are okay.Forever in depth and truly yours,Eiji"Having to go back to Japan, Eiji writes Ash hoping his letters would reach him.By a miracle they do and so Ash writes him back.





	Letters Sent by Unsaid Love

**Author's Note:**

> I had this fic sitting on my phone for ages so I thought I might as well post it as it is.  
Hope you like it :)

"Ash,

I'm not sure if this letter will even reach you, but I hope you are okay. I feel so guilty I couldn't help you. I reveled you brother's location, which lead to his death, and then I couldn't even do anything about it.

I couldn't help you even though you helped me so much.

I didn't get the chance to tell you, but I'd like you to know that.

Before I went to America I was a pole vaulter, a profissional, promising one, here in Japan. I say "I was" because I had an accident, I broke my ankle. The kind of injury you never get back from, not in olympic level. I was broken, my whole life had been focused on pole vaulting and now I couldn't do it. Ibe saw I needed saving and he did his best, for that I am grateful, but it was you who saved me. I'm still not sure what I'll do with my life now, but I'll keep you in mind. You broaden my horizons. You made me experience things I'd spend my whole live without even knowing, some good, some bad, but still. I feel like I'm betraying you by leaving (you were never given the option to leave), but I can't stay anymore. What help would I even be?

I hope that this letter can be some console from someone who considers you a dear friend, even if the circumstances in which we met were unusual. Please feel free to reach out to me, I'd like to hear that you're doing fine.

I am forever in depth with you,

Eiji"

* * *

"Eiji,

I don't write many letters, who would I even write to, but you must be an idiot for writing me. Haven't you seen how dangerous it is to be close to me? Haven't you seen what happened to Skip, to my brother? The circunstancies we met in weren't unusual for me. That was a regular month. I'm always in risk of dying and so are those who are close to me. You must really be a masochist if you want to take responsibility for everything that happened. If you want to carry that burden yourself, go ahead, I don't care. But I'll still carry those wether I want to or not and you're not taking them away from me, you're making yourself miserable for no reason and that's stupid. You can fly and yet you tie yourself down. I'm jealous. What wouldn't I give to fly.

I don't even know why I'm sending this letter, it will only make things worse for you.

I guess things are as ok as they get. I'm laying low for now. I won't be doing that for long tho.

Ash"

* * *

"Ash,

I'm so very glad you did actually write me back. I can't stop thinking about my time in New York, about you, and I would have gotten mad if I didn't knew you were well. I hope that everything stays fine when you stop laying low. I shouldn't ask you to be careful because I know that you can assess a situation much better than I'd ever, but still I find myself wanting to plead you to be careful, wanting to wish you good luck. You said yourself that you're always in risk of dying and you'll need all the luck on your side to keep living, but I know you will. I never met anyone as determined as you and I have faith that you'll manage to survive for as long as you want.

You would fly higher than I ever will if they hadn't clipped your wings.

Please keep me updated to your safety.

Even if I couldn't be close to you, I'll be by your side in spirit and mind. I can only hope that this is enough.

Forever in depth,

Eiji."

* * *

"Eiji,

What use is the potential of flying if I have no wings then?

I got shot. I'm okay, don't worry, I'm writing this letter, am I not? But I did got shot. I could've died, and I didn't. And I only say that for you, in my mind this is not closer to death than any other days where I didn't get shot. Things can be tricky this way, sometimes the days that I am closer to death aren't those in which I'm shot or beaten.

I suppose it is better that you aren't here, that is, except in spirit and mind, this way they can't get to you. This way I can have something, someone, they can't touch. They can't use you against me (because trust me they would if they were able to). Maybe the closer I can get to someone is across the world.

Ash"

* * *

"Ash,

I am truly glad you are alive. I don't know how I would live with myself knowing I let you to die in NY, but that is a selfish thing to say, isn't it?

I don't in any way think it is better that I am apart from you. I may be safer this way, but if I had a saying I wouldn't be anywhere else but at your side. It's nice to hear that you find comfort in having me even from so far away, though. You do have me, you know. And you can be certain no one else is touching me or using me against you, if that's a concern. Maybe you'll be able to grow your wings back one day. I know the scars seem like they healed such a long time ago they couldn't possibly get better, but I think that's just because they keep hurting you again, they haven't stopped clipping your wings. I know for sure you'd fly better then me otherwise. You got such determination. You're resourceful and I had never seen eyes as focused as yours, you look at everything like you're either looking at your only obstacle or your only passage home. I am not sure what that home you're looking for looks like, but I do hope you find it.

Forever in depth and truly yours,

Eiji"

* * *

"Eiji,

It is a strange coincidence, maybe reveling of how attuned we are (if you'd let me take the liberty to say so), that I received your letter just before leaving to return to the place I once called home. But it isn't my home anymore. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to call a place home again. There's nowhere save for me here. That's why I won't be telling you a new address, but I have my ways of getting things and the one you current have should work one way or another. But be conscious that your letters may fall on hostile hands. So, as much as it pains me to ask you, maybe it would be best if you didn't talk about being mine in any shape or form. Maybe I'm being overly cautious, but somethings are not worth risking. I wouldn't want to risk you and I wouldn't want to risk such a precious feeling being known by such vile man. I'll forever keep that letter of yours, though.

I don't think I've ever had someone.

People have had me, but never the other way around, never mutual. Because it is mutual. I am yours in a way I've never been theirs. They wanted me as a pet so they tried to put me in leashes, in a cage, wings clipped. But I'm an wild animal and I can't be kept. Falling to understand so made them loose me. But at this point I don't think you could loose me even if you did cage me.

I am forever yours.

Ash"

* * *

"Ash,

I do let you take the liberty, you can have all of them. Now that I shouldn't write my intimate thoughts you can take all the liberties to assume them, as long as they are positive towards you, as they will always be. I will do my best to follow your request, but you harden my task writing me such a thoughtful letter.

Reassured by your letter I feel confident enough to say that I do not think you're an wild animal. I would never describe you as such thing. You are, above all, a human being. You might be wild, you certainly do value freedom. But you are a person, a wonderful one on top of that, not an animal. You're an human because you are capable of learning, of growing, of caring, of loving, of being loved.

Again, you can take all the liberties to conclude my thoughts. I am, as always, glad to hear that you are somewhere safe, I'm glad to hear that you're in a place you once called home.

Hopefully it will serve you well as such once more.

Forever in depth, etc,

Eiji"

**Author's Note:**

> I've actually been procrastinating watching the last two episodes because I'm afraid of what might happen. So pls no spoilers for those :P


End file.
